She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize