yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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