and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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