he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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