We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
