I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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