we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
