Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
