i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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