Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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