real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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