well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
