One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
