I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
