dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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