when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
