then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
