it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My legs feel like baby dolphins
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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