did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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