She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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