It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
And then he peed in my hair
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