you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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