oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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