i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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