even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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