ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
