I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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