he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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