don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
