i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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