and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am naked and annoyed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
