i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
