oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
