you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Two words: nipple clamps
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