end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
