I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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