I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
