Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
