Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
