I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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