Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

My room smells like vodka and shame

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(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes

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(905): View more from Ontario

She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(619): View more from California

But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.

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