Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
