Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
