bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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