i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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