what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
