ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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