everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
