I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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