break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
