Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
