Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
