Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
