Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
