ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Couch. On fire.
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