I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
