i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
