Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
