Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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