ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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