so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
