I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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