lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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