i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
