his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
