420 ftw
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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