have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
